At the Crossroads of Life

....is where you begin freaking out. So i dont know who all reads this now that I'm back, but it was so nice to get on this and write out things, so i am, even if its just for me. I love how I have been back only a week and I'm already freaking out about what I should be doing with my life. Everyone that knows me, knows that I like to have a plan and to be in control. As a Christian the being in control part is already out of the window. And its certainly somethign I have to constantly remind myself. But having a plan isnt so bad. I want it to be whatever is in God's plan for my life, I just wish I knew the current part of it. Do I go to grad school? I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. Which master do I get? I'm leaning towards Secondary Education or Educational Leadership. What school do I attend? I originally was okay with SFA, and still dont have any real desires to go elsewhere, but alot of stuff as happened and things I have realized which have complicated the decision. The major issue seems to be that Nacogdoches and FBC Nac dont really have a place for 20 somethings that aren't married and out of college. Although I will be in school at SFA its just not the same as undergrad, so I'm in that group. Talking to a dear friend Savannah, I have realized that I can be active in making a place for myself. God will provide me venues to do that through, but I have always been willing to try new things. Why do I have to leave Nacogdoches to pave a new life for me? But then again that brings me back to a question that lots of people have asked me: why stay in Nacogdoches, especially when I've experienced living elsewhere? I do love Nac. And it is comfortable. But I think my main reasoning is that God has given me a passion to share what I learned from HCC with FBC. We have all the ability and desire to be authentic, welcoming, and communal (living as a community of believers) but so often we don't. So all that being said... i think i'm coming to terms and trying to get excited about living another 2 years in Nacogdoches and going to SFA. even though right now there seems to be several negatives and lots of confusion.