Mission field doesn't translate

I have been reflecting alot on my current life lately. Its just amazing how life has changed from December 2007. I graduated that month and felt the world was before me. I had earned my stamp of maturity and education in record time with commendable grades. I made friends, joined clubs, held jobs, dated guys, stretched my beliefs, challenged my 'structure of life', paid rent, had the best college roommates, watched two friends get married... It was a great span of my life. All the things expected for me in college happened.
So after college, I committed a period of my life to serving God in the mission field. I have always enjoyed mission trips and seeing God outside of east texas. I enjoyed seeing His creation and sharing His love with all I encountered. This step of missions was something all of my friends had previously done and I had spent time considering, it wasn't the crazy idea or anything. I moved to Colorado and spent four months serving God in a daily, all- consuming lifestyle. It was amazing. I made incredibly family relationships, met an amazing friend Shanna who challenged me continually, worshipped with believers who lived sold-out, worked with crazy fun non-believers who I loved authentically for the first time, I enjoyed coffee, bagels, snow, and sunrise every morning. All of it. I cherish my time there so much. But when that time came to an end, I was sad but excited to see where God would take me next.
I came back to Nacogdoches, expecting to take what I learned and experienced to my life here. Not to recreate Colorado, mind you, but to learn and apply. I came home and spent time writing down my thoughts, creating scrapbooks to visually sort through things, talking to wise women to hold me accountable, praying for direction. God heard my cries and sent me a new mission field: teaching.
It was something I had begun to consider heavily while in Colorado, but wasn't quite sure how that would happen since I wasn't certified. Leave it to God though. He found me the perfect job for me. And I am very thankful to be there - to work with amazing women and impact precious children. But alot of other aspects of my life have not only not worked, but shattered. Immediately after returning home, my dream of marrying this great guy ended painfully. Okay so maybe he's not the right one... Then my best friend gets married and moves away to begin her own life. Not that I'm sad for her; I'm just sad she's leaving me. Then I realize that I will be living at home alot longer than I orginally planned. Although its not horrible, I have some pride issues that surfaced and had to be dealt with. Getting okay with it now. My other friends have all started seeking out our own lives too. And once again, not that I dont want them to do that, I just realize I'm left alone. I'm questioning if I'm going to move on... And lately, I just haven't felt committed or acceptable to Christ at all. That I'm too dishearted and too overcome to read the Word, to pray and see change. It all seems useless. I spent 4 months of my life doing everyday all day and what do I end up with!
We talked today in sunday school about how as children we misbehave - we get punished, so somewhere in our minds if we behave (do good things) -- we get rewards. And I know that I get rewards in heaven and I know I didn't go to CO for rewards. I just didn't expect to feel so lonely and useless 4 months later.