Thursday, May 15, 2008

At the Crossroads of Life

....is where you begin freaking out. So i dont know who all reads this now that I'm back, but it was so nice to get on this and write out things, so i am, even if its just for me. I love how I have been back only a week and I'm already freaking out about what I should be doing with my life. Everyone that knows me, knows that I like to have a plan and to be in control. As a Christian the being in control part is already out of the window. And its certainly somethign I have to constantly remind myself. But having a plan isnt so bad. I want it to be whatever is in God's plan for my life, I just wish I knew the current part of it. Do I go to grad school? I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. Which master do I get? I'm leaning towards Secondary Education or Educational Leadership. What school do I attend? I originally was okay with SFA, and still dont have any real desires to go elsewhere, but alot of stuff as happened and things I have realized which have complicated the decision. The major issue seems to be that Nacogdoches and FBC Nac dont really have a place for 20 somethings that aren't married and out of college. Although I will be in school at SFA its just not the same as undergrad, so I'm in that group. Talking to a dear friend Savannah, I have realized that I can be active in making a place for myself. God will provide me venues to do that through, but I have always been willing to try new things. Why do I have to leave Nacogdoches to pave a new life for me? But then again that brings me back to a question that lots of people have asked me: why stay in Nacogdoches, especially when I've experienced living elsewhere? I do love Nac. And it is comfortable. But I think my main reasoning is that God has given me a passion to share what I learned from HCC with FBC. We have all the ability and desire to be authentic, welcoming, and communal (living as a community of believers) but so often we don't. So all that being said... i think i'm coming to terms and trying to get excited about living another 2 years in Nacogdoches and going to SFA. even though right now there seems to be several negatives and lots of confusion.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Back in the Motherland!

Well i am back in Texas at least! After a long drive, I made it to Lauren's and spent the night with her and then had breakfast with her and headed out to Dallas. I made it to Denton earlier than I planned, but that just gave me time to relax and shower before I hung out with Cody. I have enjoyed seeing her so much after being gone for so long from friends. =) But yeah it was so hard, it is so hard, to be gone from the Berrys and Shanna. I've talked to them alot during my trip home, but its just sad. I know that God brought me there for the season and has used them to teach me immeasurable things, and that I will see them in the summer again. I just am sad to see that my season of living with them is over. i have enjoyed sharing my photoscrapbook with Cody and Lauren so I'm glad I made that. Anyways I will be heading out tomorrow morning and hope to be HOME no later than 4!! And will be at wednesday night church which I am incredibly excited about! yay for my church family. see everyone soon! i am so ready to see and talk to each person! =) I have a feeling I will be eating alot of food -- lots of lunch and dinner dates...

Sunday, May 4, 2008

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

I wish I was leaving on a jet plane. I would be home sooner than the 18 hour drive over 2 days. But that being said, I am leaving. I am all packed and will be driving out of this world and life at 9ish tomorrow morning. Its weird to think its over and sad to see those that I'm leaving. I have spent the day spending time with the girls and the church, giving hugs and tearing up. I have learned so much and am so grateful to all here. The kids all signed a tshirt that says colorado on the front, the church all signed a card and then gave me a journal, and Cherie (the pastors wife) gave me a book with a note written on the first page. I have compeleted my photo journal so I brought that to let them see, which they enjoyed. But we also prayed over me as a church for my safety and return home, but also thanking God for this time in my life and what He plans for me in Nac. But it was so sweet. Nathan and Turner, my first grade boys, each held my hand and Nathan kept playing with my ring on my finger...=) And then Rachel held my shirt with both hands like if she held on tight enough I wouldnt be leaving. And each kid was just hanging on me someway. It was sweet to see them care so much. I will miss those kids. Nathan was just precious though. At the end of church he just walks up to me and goes "Becca I'm going to miss you when you leave" and then puts his head down and walks off. I just looked up at Andy and cried. But anyways pray for my remaining time with the Berrys and for safe travel home tomorrow!

Friday, May 2, 2008

Can't Sleep

Technically its after 1 am here in Colorado and I cannot sleep. Actually went to bed at like 10:30 (which is completely normal haha) and then haven't gone to sleep yet. Decided to at least come downstairs and get on the computer. Been thinking alot about leaving though. Alot of me is so excited to be going home -- to see my family, to sleep in my bed, to see Jonathan, to hang out with the girls, to wear flipflops, to eat at J-Tree, to feel completely comfortable in church. But yet alot of me wrestles with that very idea. Of leaving the Berrys, my new family, of leaving Shanna, who has been by my side the entire time and a great friend, of leaving the children of HCC whom I have truly enjoyed getting to know. Knowing that everyone here has helped to show or teach me something and that I am so grateful for that. Its hard to walk away from an experience where you do have to depend on God so much and have enjoyed greatly. I dunno. Its something Trish and I have talked about -- how you pray for God to open your heart and love people but then it hurts so much to lose them that you don't want to love anymore. I have become apart of this family so much, that it kills me to think I could be just another intern that stayed with them. I pray they see me as more, because they certainly me so much more to me. And although Mississippi isn't that far from me, I will miss Shanna. I pray for her last month here. It will be hard to be alone and missing her family, but yet God is not done using her so I am excited about seeing that. She has been the friend that I needed here. I prayed once I found out she was coming, that we would be friends. And God blessed that request. I was so thankful to have a partner and a friend, and I could not imagine working at Copper or High Country without her. Anyways pray for me as I try to digest what I have learned, what God has shown me, and what I'm going to do with it back in Nac. Pray for me as I try to pack my belongs in my car again!! (without my daddy to help!) Pray for my last days here -- that I have time with the Berrys and Shanna and a peace about leaving them. Pray for my travels as I head out on Monday morning. Thanks for all you have done in supporting me this semester.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Colorado Springs

One of the things that I really wanted to do while I was here was to volunteer at the Rescue Mission and Shanna got behind that full force and helped to make that a reality. So yesterday we did one of the things she wanted to do while in Colorado. We went to Colorado Springs. The main attraction for the day was visiting the Focus on the Family headquarters, which is located just north of Colorado Springs. On the way to the Focus on the Family we stopped at the Air Force Academy, just because it was there and we had time. It was awesome! I was excited because I tried to make it similiar to West Point and Diana's experiences there. But anyways we got to see the complex and we toured the visitor center. The coolest thing there was the chapels. The protestant chapel had an amazing organ! But there was also a roman catholic chapel that had a replica of the shroud of Jesus. And then the Jewish and Buddhist chapels were just cool to look at. After leaving there we went to eat at Chic-fil-a. Man the small things are just so incredible up here. We loved it and it was just that we hadn't had any in 5 months. But we went to Focus on the Family and got to go to the visitors center, which included a bookstore and a child's play area. Shanna and I enjoyed the kids play area alot! =) Then we took a tour of the administrative area, which included the actual radio room where Dr. Dobson hosts and records his radio talks!! After the Focus on the Family we drove around town and then headed out. But while we were at a red light the coolest thing happened -- there was a police escorted funeral procession, however the cool part was that every car in the processional was a Corvette! New, old, every color, convertible, hard top. It was awesome! Sad that it was funeral, but that was one of the best car parades I've ever seen. But Shanna and I had an awesome day acting as tourists and enjoying 70 degree weather and sunshine. Going to miss our road trips!
Anyways thanks for reading this. PS we had two inches of snow last night. On the first of May...snow....ahh!